How did you do blessing your mate today? Did you even give it a try? What happened? Leave a comment and let me know.
Yesterday we learned that the first part of the prescription for a superb marriage is to bless your mate: speak kindly to your husband or wife; do something for your mate that will make him or her feel loved; cultivate an attitude of gratitude for the good your mate does for you and the family; pray for your spouse for strength, wisdom, and courage in all aspects of life.
Today as we follow the doctor’s prescription for a superb marriage, B-E-S-T, we move on to E.
Edify isn’t a word we use much in the English language. According to Webster’s New Millenium Dictionary, edify means to build up, establish, or strenghten a person; to uplift. It is similar to encouragement, but seems to go deeper, to the core of a person’s intellect and spirit. Encouragment might see a person succeed in a particular task or event; edification will see a person triumph in life.
In his book Love Life for Every Married Couple, Dr. Ed Wheat suggests that edifying a person speaks to him or her in three ways: personal encouragement, inner strengthening, and establishment of peace and harmony between individuals.
This is where it gets personal; this is where you need to know your spouse.
Wives, even if your husband looks secure and strong to the world, only you know his vulnerabilities and weaknesses. Often these areas of weakness are used against a mate, especially in the heat of an argument or when we feel weak and vulnerable ourselves. Instead of using your husband’s weaknesses against him, how can you bolster his self-confidence and trust so that those weaknesses become strengths instead?
Husbands, you know the incredible value of your wife. You’ve seen her taking care of you, the kids, the house, and everyone else that calls with a need. Have you made her feel secure in your love for her, not just your appreciation for what she does? At the core of most women is the need to know that her husband is her greatest admirer, that he finds her attractive and desirable. Most men know they would be lost without their wives, at least for a while. Let your wife know that you value her above everything else in this world. Let her know that she is safe with you and you will not let her down.
Gary Smalley’s article I Believe in You hits the nail on the head. As he writes about the power of believing in your spouse, he ends the article with this statement:
What a difference you can make if you always treat your mate not as he might be at that moment, but as you know he can be.
Commit yourself today to personal ecnouragement, inner strengthening, and harmony with your mate. Wives, build your husband up in his dreams and in areas of weakness and vulnerability. Husbands, build up your wife in her confidence in you and the fact that she is more important to you than all this world has to offer.
See your mate as who he or she can be and establish yourself as his or her personal cheering section.
Yours for the celebration of marriage,